More Details On Han Solo’s Babysitting Emerge

I’ve previously written about Han Solo’s adventures in babysitting, as told in the new novel Last Shot.

JerrySpringer

The franchise was always destined to end up in the hands of Jerry Springer.

Now we’re getting some more details on Han’s baby sitting trials and tribulations, and it turns out that fretting over choking hazards takes up a big chunk of Han’s day.

According to Chris Agar at ScreenRant, author Daniel José Older writes in the novel:

“Two years in and no matter what, nothing he did was right. He brought Ben a play blaster from Burundang and he was encouraging his violent side; took it away and the boy wouldn’t stop crying. He tried to replace it with a build-a-space-center set and there were too many small pieces Ben could choke on. The worst part was, it wasn’t like Leia was just nagging or inventing stuff to one-up Han; she was right about all of it. So he couldn’t even properly resent her for it!”

Babysitting, toddlers crying, building play sets, and choking hazards.

Gee, that’s so much more entertaining than smuggling stolen goods, or chasing after some ancient Sith artifact worth a fortune, or piloting starships to the remote corners of the galaxy, or fighting in wars.  I never would have guessed that 6 out of the 8 feminists in Kathleen Kennedy’s Story Group were women.  Who could’ve guessed that, after Poe’s adventures in seamstressing?

“And Han Solo… you feel like he’s the father you never had. He would have disappointed you.” – Kylo Ren

He’s certainly disappointing fans thanks to the Lucasfilm Story Group.  No question about that.

Star-Wars-Boba-Fett-Rocket-Firing-Jumbo-Kenner-Action-Figure1

Keep this out of Kylo’s hands.

But I want to focus on one particular sentence from the novel, that should be read in the context of the blasterless Solo posters:

He brought Ben a play blaster from Burundang and he was encouraging his violent side;

Disney would never ever rebrand Star Wars as Star Peace, now would they?

16 thoughts on “More Details On Han Solo’s Babysitting Emerge

  1. That’s horrible, haha. Reminds me of when I was a boy and lived in a government-facility. Was outside playing pretend sword with a stick. Came back in and the bitch pedagogue had a talk with me about my aggressions.

    Yet they send off people to war to kill and die.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Two years in and no matter what, nothing he did was right. He brought Ben a play blaster from Burundang and he was encouraging his violent side; took it away and the boy wouldn’t stop crying.”

    What. The. Hell?
    Who wrote that? Some cultural marxist feminist? It reads like how a childless 45 year old female hippie anti-gun antifa supporter thinks fathers would act.
    Wait, Itchy, you’re pranking us and that’s some stupid fanfiction, right? It’s so poorly written there’s no way that came from a published novel by a professional author. Oh, it did?
    The franchise is dead.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wait. I checked who the author is. God, he’s just the kind of pretentious pseudo-intelectual racist (but of course, the “right” type of racist) who isn’t smart at all but is anti-everything that’s good kind of person K-Kennedy would hire to ruin something.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well yes. Anyone who’s head is filled with social justice nonsense rather than genuine wisdom and knowledge is uneducated. Such as that author for instance…

        Like

    • I wish I were pranking you. It’s as accurate as the source article states. How accurate the source article is, is anyone’s guess. But given the direction the franchise is now going in, this is perfectly congruent. And yes, the franchise is in fact dead.

      Like

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