Great First Reactions To Solo Confirm That The Film Is Likely Crap

As many know, Solo had its Hollywood premiere yesterday, so the first reactions are being published all throughout the internet.  The general consensus seems to be that Solo is great, which is remarkably similar to the general consensus of The Last Jedi before its release.  So let’s compare and contrast what these personalities said about Solo, with what they said about TheLast Jedi.

solo-red-carpet-premiere

Guess why these writers were invited to the red carpet…


Kate Erbland on Solo:

Writes Indie Wire Film Editor Kate Erbland, it “takes a bit for [Solo] to find its feet and for [young Han Solo actor Alden Ehrenreich] to turn on enough charm to make you forget he’s not [Harrison Ford].” But, she adds, “once it kicks into its hey-let’s-make-a-crew and yes-also-do-a-heist stuff, it totally flies.”

Kate Erbland on The Last Jedi:

The second film in the newest trilogy shines its brightest light on compelling and complex female characters, from Rey and Leia to Rose and Captain Phasma — and many more.


Mike Ryan on Solo:

Uproxx senior entertainment writer Mike Ryan says the first act of the latest Star Wars standalone “can be hit and miss clunky,” but a “legit fantastic” Donald Glover as a younger Lando Calrissian and the Kessel Run heist plot makes Solo “a whole lot of fun.” “It does take a bit to get used to Alden as Han,” Ryan adds, “but after 30 minutes or so your brain adjusts.”

Mike Ryan on The Last Jedi:

I am not someone who cries during new Star Wars movies because a character I like shows up, or whatever, but I sure did during this one. And for the first time since this all happened, that cry felt good.


Joseph Schmidt on Solo:

ComicBook.com’s own Joseph Schmidt calls Solo “a TON of fun,” saying it “felt more like a Star Wars movie than Rogue One. Don’t look up spoilers,” he adds, writing, “it’s full of surprises.”

Joseph Schmidt on The Last Jedi:

Review: ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Boldly Pushes Forward with Non-Stop Fun


Conner Schwerdtfeger on Solo:

Conner Schwerdtfeger of CinemaBlend says to “bank on Lando: A Star Wars Story getting a green light by the end of the year,” continuing the trend of praise for Glover, who Schwerdtfeger says “continues to be perfect.”

Conner Schwerdtfeger on The Last Jedi:

I just saw #StarWars #TheLastJedi and holy hell is it a masterpiece in a lot of insane ways. I think the standout factor is @rianjohnson’s A+ direction. There has never been a Star Wars Movie like this.


Angie J. Han on Solo:

Angie J. Han of Mashable calls leading man Ehrenreich “the real deal,” offering praise for Val actress Thandie Newton. “Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s L3… well,” she writes, “we’ll talk about that later.”

Angie J. Han on The Last Jedi:

The Last Jedi is the first Star Wars movie in a long time, then, to feel like it’s truly about the future. It doesn’t ignore the franchise’s history – Rey explicitly rejects Kylo Ren’s suggestion to “let the past die” – but strikes a balance that feels like an exciting step forward.


Chris Taylor on Solo:

“It’s good,” says Mashable’s Chris Taylor. “It’s sooo good.” He explains: “This is the grungiest, most grunt-level blue collar Star Wars ever and I am here for it.” Taylor says the movie will “surprise and delight you out of your seat.”

Chris Taylor on The Last Jedi:

‘The Last Jedi’ movie review: Star Wars filmmaking hits full throttle


Rachel Heine on Solo:

Solo left Nerdist’s Rachel Heine “pleasantly surprised,” who calls the Ron Howard-directed movie “a cute, fun, stylish Star Wars adventure.”

Rachel Heine on The Last Jedi:

#StarWars #TheLastJedi is bonkers. I honestly don’t have any words. It’s jam packed and full of surprises. Avoid spoilers at all costs!


Peter Sciretta on Solo:

The movie “feels surprisingly unlike any Star Wars movie before,” writes Peter Sciretta of Slash Film, “yet perfectly captures the tone, adventure, characters and humor of the Star Wars franchise.”

Peter Sciretta on The Last Jedi:

Star Wars: The Last Jedi left me speechless and shaken. I was not prepared for the “holy shit” shocking turn of events, the underlying emotion, the laugh-out-loud humor, the occasional ballsiness, and the bonkers weirdness. With Rian Johnson at the helm, I knew it was in good hands, but I was surprised to find it might be one of the best looking Star Wars films to date. It’s bold, it’s weird, it’s excellent.


Yeah.  You get the picture.

But I also encourage you to take a stroll down memory lane, and take in some of the first reactions to The Last Jedi which were published by the Nerdist in November of 2017.  That stubborn past just won’t die.

So if you’re counting on the people who helped bring you the 91% Critics Rotten Tomatoes score for The Last Jedi, to give you an accurate assessment of Solo, then you’re not dealing with a full Sabacc deck.

UPDATE:

Thanks to FilmGoblin.com for a great write up on this blog post:

A member of the Film Goblin Facebook fan page pointed me to this anonymous blogger, some unsung hero, who has triggered the panic detonator at Lucasfilm.

What did this diabolical mastermind do? Something both simple and genius: compared a replicant’s a shill’s a person’s first reactions to Solo to their first reactions to The Last Jedi. And it’s beautiful.

 

43 thoughts on “Great First Reactions To Solo Confirm That The Film Is Likely Crap

    • It means that it’s for the “proletariat.” Which in turn means that there’s likely some working class SJW propaganda in the film. “Workers of the world unite” and all that crap.

      Like

  1. Hilarious, these people are absolute cringe. They have their own special language of lies:
    ‘Fun’ = stupid, idiotic, shit
    ‘A blast’ = completely forgettable
    ‘totally flies’ = thank god it came to end quickly
    ‘full of surprises’ = lots of terrible decisions in it

    I’m intrigued by the absence of shill chatter about Qi’Ra. I mean this Kate Erbland calls Rose and Phasma ‘complex and compelling’ female characters, lol, but she doesn’t mention Qi’Ra? Emilia Clarke must be truly awful in it. They’re talking about the lady droid more than her.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Hah. Great minds think alike. I’m gonna watch this later, but first I’m gonna grab it. A commenter says there’s an embargo on reviews and he wasn’t technically allowed to publish it, so it may possibly vanish. Could be bullshit tho.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes, there’s an embargo on reviews that doesn’t get lifted until the 15th. It makes me wonder if this is Disney disinformation, given that they’ve put out disinformation in their merchandising.

          Like

          • Okay watched it.

            SPOILER ABOUT ENFY’S NEST

            Assuming I have correctly put his words into context, Enfy’s Nest leader is some 16-year-old-looking very clean looking Disney-type girl and he says he didn’t buy her being the leader and it was distracting.

            MORE BIG SPOILERS ABOUT ENFY’S NEST (if you want)

            Apparently Enfy’s Nest are actually good guys helping the rebellion. (explains why it’s a pristine looking pretty girl I guess?)

            Like

              • I’m becoming increasingly skeptical of this video.

                We know that Disney has put out disinformation on their merchandising with regards to Enfys Nest’s identity/gender as @EthanVanSciver has pointed out. We know that there’s a review embargo that won’t be lifted until the 15th.

                So would a guy like this risk his YouTube channel or his career by raising the ire of Disney and breaking that embargo? Plus, they may have overdone it with all the Star Wars schwag in the background. That’s crazy expensive stuff.

                It could be real, but it might be Disney screwing with critical YouTubers.

                Like

                    • How about a friendly bet over an imaginary Millennium Falcon? I say it’s real. I don’t see why Disney would bother with that much deception. Plus, what he says seems plausible and about what you would expect from the movie.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • I’m not sure I’m willing to make a bet yet. It wouldn’t be that much of a bother to put it out. All you need is a willing dupe, a webcam, an space to film, an hour, and they already have Star Wars schwag all over the place no doubt. But as I said, it could be real. The main reason I doubt it is because of the disinformation Disney has already put out in its merchandising regarding Enfys Nest’s gender.

                      Like

  2. SPOILERS

    – Han steals the blue speeder from someone and tricks some people in a deal
    – Han owns some “engergy fuel” to a wormlike creature on Corellia.
    – Han and his girlfriend Qi’Ra met on Corellia. The dream of leaving Corellia.
    – They are captured by wormlike creature and beaten. Also in this is Moloch and others.
    – They flee to a space port but are separated as the goons are gotten to them.
    – Han is drafted to the Imperial Forces.
    – About three years later we see him on Mimbam.
    – The war on Mimbam is brutal.
    – Han spots Beckett and Val as they try to steal imperial equipment
    – Han wants to join them and leave Mimbam behind him.
    – Han is captured and thrown into jail.
    – Han meets Chewie here. Han speaks Wookiee. They flee together.
    – Becketts crew picks them up.
    – Han gets his blaster from Beckett, which is a rifle at this time. Han strips it to the known blaster.
    – They go to the planet Vandor to rob the train, which contains the “energy fuel”.
    – Half of the crew (Val, Rio) where killed or wounded.
    – Han has to pilot the ship, because Rio the pilot is wounded.
    – Fight with Enfys Nest crew.
    – Beckett lost the “energy fuel”, which he owns to the gangster Dryden Vos
    – They met with Dryden Vos on his yacht
    – Han meets Qi’Ra again, who is Dryden Vos girlfriend now.
    – They propose a new deal to Dryden Vos
    – Dryden Vos agrees and the go on a heist to Kessel
    – Before that they need a ship. They go to a “cantina” where Lando plays Saabacc.
    – Han joins the game but loses to Lando, who cheats. Han can’t prove it.
    – Lando has a droid L3, who is all for droid rights and is the navigation expert that can get them to Kessel
    – The group goes to Kessel to get the “instable energy fuel”
    – Beckett has Landos Jabbas Palace disguise.
    – They fight on Kessel free other Wookies, people and droids (L3 does it)
    – They get the “instable energy fuel” and flee to the Maw
    – L3 is shot, Lando gets parts of her back to the ship
    – On their way back they run into the Imperial Star Destroyer
    – They fight through the Maw TIE Fighter, big tentacle monster
    – They plug the remains of L3 to the Falcon and Beckett uses parts of the “instable energy fuel”
    – This makes the Falcon fast
    – They need to get the “instable energy fuel” to a refinery to make it stable
    – The run into Enfys Nest crew, back and forth, jokes
    – Enfys Nest is a 16 year old Disney girl
    – Nest and crew needs the fuel for the Rebellion
    – Han and Crew without Beckett go back to Dryden Vos with the stable “engergy fuel”
    – Dryden Vos “engergy fuel” says the fuel is fake
    – Dryden Vos fights Solo and Qi’Ra and is killed by later
    – Beckett has contacted Vos behind their backs and set them up so that Vos thinks he was betrayed.
    – Beckett speaks about “Told you not to trust anyone”. Han shots him. First.
    – Qi’Ra stays behind and has a hologram talk with… Darth Maul (played by Rey Park, voice by Sam Witter)
    – Han and Chewie are on their way.
    – They meet with Lando again, play again and Han wins (He pulls Landos cheat cards when they hug)
    – What they do next? The heard from Beckett about a gangster on Tatooine.

    Liked by 1 person

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