USA Today Calls For A Sex Scene In “Kid’s Movie”

We’ve all heard and read the argument by people who don’t understand Star Wars which states, “It’s just a kid’s move about space wizards with laser swords.”  Today, USA Today is calling for a sex scene in that “kid’s movie.”

It’s only a matter of time…

Brian Truitt writes a piece at USA Today entitled, “We’ve got a good feeling about this: It’s time for ‘Star Wars’ to have a sex scene.”

In it he writes:

The Last American Virgin isn’t a person. It’s a massively popular film franchise.

The 10 Star Wars films since 1977 have given us an abundance of lightsabers, cosmic derring-do, the Force, bounty hunters, good guys, bad guys and porgs, but no onscreen lovemaking. For characters who spend a lot of time in space with each other, there’s been a distinct lack of intimacy.

SJWs are determined to transform Star Wars into Galaxina, or worse…

To be frank, Star Wars, you’re 41 years old and you need to have sex.

If you’re male, by the time you reach 41 you have a diminished desire for sex.  Unless you’re taking low-T medication.

Look, we’re not asking for much.

You’re just asking for a sex scene in “a kid’s move about space wizards and laser swords.”

Let’s be classy about it: No need for Fifty Shades of Weequay, about one henchman’s debauched, R-rated night aboard Jabba’s sail barge.

That’ll be next.

Obviously Star Wars will always appeal to kids and families, but they’re also PG-13 projects where villains get sliced in half and appendages get chopped or ripped off.

But I thought they were just “kid’s movies about space wizards with laser swords.”

Would some vague movements under the covers be all that out of bounds? Something you’d see on Castle would be appropriate.

Is it really necessary to make parents uncomfortable in what has actually been an all-ages family friendly affair?  How many parents would be willing to take their children if they know they’ll have some explaining to do when they come out of the theater?

Sex in Star Wars can and has been inferred off screen.  Adults don’t actually need to see the act itself play out on screen.  Adults are capable of reading between lines and inferring what is happening off screen without the need to subject their children to the spectacle.  Or at least, they used to be able to.

On the other hand, there may be a few parents out there who won’t mind exposing their children sexualized content in Star Wars.

My kids are young. They don’t read novels yet. And if they want to read about Lando loving his own dick, I’d let them. Hell, if I were Lando, I’d probably love my dick too. As it is, I just sort of tolerate mine. I mean, it’s fine for what I ask it to do. But it’s no Lando dick!

— Michael S. Miller (@Michael44820) May 30, 2018

It’s a bold new age for Star Wars, with bold new fans.