Vanity Fair’s Photoshop Scandal

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JJ Abrams on the set of Mad Maxine: Adventures Beyond The Forbidden Zone Episode Deux

Many readers will recall the lackluster Vanity Fair preview of Episode IX from last week.  They even published a YouTube video about it:

Well, it appears that the “photographs” have been heavily altered, using material from previous films.

Many will recall the following image from the marketing push for Episode VIII in Vanity Fair’s “definitive preview” of The Last Jedi:

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Vanity Fair released the following image last week, as part of their “exclusive photos” for Episode IX.

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See any similarities?

Twitter user Super Good Pixel noticed the similarities last week, and produced the following analysis which I present to you now:

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That’s right.  Images for Vanity Fair’s Episode IX preview were created with elements taken from Episode VIII images.  Here’s are some close ups of the key areas:

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But that’s not all.  Super Good Pixel, also helpfully pointed out the following:

Let’s first take a look at an image of Luke standing next to R2-D2 from the Original Trilogy:

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Now let’s take a look at a picture of Luke kneeling next to R2-D2 in an image from Episode VIII:

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Now let’s go back to the recent photoshopped Vanity Fair image released last week for Episode IX:

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Notice the difference?  Let’s place the images side by side.

Either droids shrink in their old age, or Kenny Baker had to lose a lot of weight for this role.  Or maybe it’s a Disney cost cutting measure.  Because in the photoshopped Episode IX image, R2-D2 is now suddenly a foot and half shorter.

So yes, the entirety of R2-D2 was photoshopped into this image.

This revelation brings to mind a wonderful question.  Did Mark Hamill film anything at all for Episode IX?  Or like Carrie Fisher, is Mark’s unused footage from previous Episodes being ramrodded into Episode IX for marketing purposes, in a desperate attempt to get more butts in theater seats after Rian Johnson urinated all over the Luke Skywalker character?  I know what I’d bet on.

It’s absolutely hilarious that they’re trying to sell imagery from previous episodes as a preview of Episode IX.  And we can’t even be sure that the image of R2-D2 is from the Sequel Trilogy at all.

So who is responsible for these photoshopping shenanigans?

The Episode VIII article from Vanity Fair credits the photographs to Annie Liebovitz, and the article to David Kamp.

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The Episode IX articles from Vanity Fair credit Lev Grossman for the article, and Annie Leibovitz with the photographs again.

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And make no mistake.  The Luke Skywalker image is specifically credited to Annie Leibovitz’s photography in both Vanity Fair articles.

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And keep in mind, this is the Sequel Trilogy whose production has prided themselves on “practical effects.”   Yet they can’t even offer a practical photograph.

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Annie Leibovitz’s award winning photograph of a Cintiq Monitor.

So head on over to Lev Grossman’s AMA on Reddit to ask him all about it:

 

Dash Star’s Hopes Are Dashed?

Back in December 2017, Dash Star published the following video:

That video caused a bit of a hubbub on the interwebs back then, because it was thought that Dash Star was one of the largest voices in the online Star Wars fandom.

Then recently, in May of 2019, Dash Star posted the following tweet:

Indeed.  Dash Star now has an alternate YouTube Channel called Rage Dash.  Here’s a sample from a recent video he published this May:

Is Dash Star being genuine?  Or is Dash Star being disingenuous?

If you’re undecided, you may have the chance to decide, as word on the street is that Dash Star will be appearing on the High Council this Tuesday.

#JohnCarterWatchParty on December 20th

Rather than waste your time, money, and patience on the crappy Episode IX, let’s have an online watch party for Disney’s John Carter.  Here’s why:

In 2012 John Carter was released by Disney to a poor reception.

Many chalked up the poor reception to strange marketing practices by Disney, much of which can be read about at this Facebook page.  Despite poor publicity, the movie did not bomb at all., and in fact fans petitioned for a sequel.  Unfortunately, Disney has lost the rights to John Carter, so a sequel likely just isn’t in the cards.

Interestingly, 2012 was right around the time that negotiations for Disney’s purchase of Star Wars likely began, and as such many feel that the potential John Carter franchise was deliberately torpedoed in favor of focusing on Star Wars, given Disney’s strange marketing practices.

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Let’s watch a real strong female lead instead of that fake shampoo princess.

So the reasons to have an online John Carter watch party on December 20th, 2019, the opening day of Episode IX, can be listed as such:

  1.  You’ll be watching a genuinely entertaining film, rather than suffering through 2.5 hours of social justice propaganda.
  2. You’ll be saving yourself the cost of admission and theater concessions.
  3. Disney representatives will be irritated that people are talking about John Carter on Episode IX’s release date
  4. Infuriating idiot SJWs is always worth the time and effort, and is in and of itself highly entertaining.
  5. Talking about a potential franchise that Disney abandoned in favor of focusing on the ruination of the Star Wars franchise on a Star Wars release date is sauce for the goose.
  6. It’ll just be plain fun.

Let’s see if we can get #JohnCarterWatchParty trending as succesfully as SJWs got #MakeSolo2Happen trending.

Kylo And Rey’s Climactic Battle Atop Death Star Wreckage

Vanity Fair reveals another silly Episode IX moment in their online article.  How did this moment come about?  Well we’ve seen how in previous trailers.

First, was the leisurely walk through lush grasslands by our multi-culturally diverse heroes.

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Rey still wears the same stinky bandages from Episode VII.

Then the shot cuts to a foreboding seascape, with something off in the distance.

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Upon closer examination, many think that it’s the wreckage of the Death Star 2.0 from Return of the Jedi, surrounded by a stormy sea.  And that this is why we hear Palpatines laughing in the trailer, perhaps he is haunting the Death Star wreckage.

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Now take a good close look at the ground beneath Kylo and Rey’s feet in the image that Vanity Fair brought us today:

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“You got your peanut butter in my chocolate!” ~Kylo Ren                                                                                           “You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!” ~Rey Somebody

SJWs will be horrified that Rey is finally getting a bath, and unintentionally laundering those smelly Jakku fatigues in the process.

UPDATE:

Palpatine is purportedly confirmed to be in Episode IX.

 

John Boyega Fights The Things He Hates

Vanity Fair recently published the following image:

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We now anxiously await word to see if Kelly Marie Tran will admonish John Boyega for fighting the things he hates rather than saving the things he loves.

But looking at that image, I think I’ve felt that presence before.  A presence I’ve not felt since…Return of the Jedi.

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Photoshopped image vs. Captured image.

Rian Johnson Inspired JJ Abrams’ Film

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JJ explains that Rian taught him how to wipe his bum with a roll of 70mm film.

According to ComicBook.com:

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Director J.J. Abrams Confirms How Rian Johnson Inspired His Film

Despite numerous reports about how Johnson and Abrams worked together on the overall narrative, the director of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker revealed that Johnson’s biggest influence was empowering him to feel more ambitious with the conclusion of the Skywalker Saga.

“Having seen what Rian did made me approach this from a place of instinct and gut,” Abrams shared with Vanity Fair. “I was making choices I knew I would not have made on VII, some story-wise, but more in terms of directing. I found myself feeling less like I’m going to try and do something that feels like it’s [only] true to the specifics of this franchise or the story.”

While Abrams might not have offered specific details into what elements of Johnson’s filmmaking style or narrative beats would be more heavily leaned into with The Rise of Skywalker, it’s clear that the director saw what Johnson accomplished with his film and allowed himself more freedom in this final chapter.

“The idea of the movie is kind of how I felt going into the movie as a filmmaker, which is to say that I’ve inherited all this stuff, great stuff, and good wisdom, and the good and the bad, and it’s all coming to this end, and the question is, do we have what it takes to succeed?” Abrams added.

No, you do not.

But you do have enough sense to be jealous of the political accolades that Rian received, and attempt to recreate the formula to get your own.

Deadpool Co-Creator Sounds The Alarm

Calling all SJWs!    Calling all SJWs!

The annoyance of your idiot activism is requested!!

Rob Liefeld is not too happy with the recent Vanity Fair article, that gave us previews of Episode IX.  So he’s sounding the alarm to TLJ infatuated SJWs everywhere!

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Just think, between the threat of a full retcon of TLJ, and the additional threat of putting the kibosh on Reylo, Episode IX might be boycotted by the very SJWs that Disney and Lucasfilm has wooed with this crappy Sequel Trilogy.  I just hope if and when that happens, that everyone at Disney and Lucasfilm will enjoy it as much as I know I will.  It would almost make the existence of the Sequel Trilogy entirely worth it.

Thanks to Drunk 3PO for the tip.

Keri Russell Star Wars Character Adopts Stripper Stage Name

The name of the newest character in the diminishing Star Wars franchise is Zorri Bliss.  I shit you not.

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Zorri Bliss; Coming to a burlesque stage near you!

That’s the image and character name in Vanity Fair’s preview of Episode IX.  If you’re interested, you can head over there to see the rest of the lackluster images.

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Zorri Bliss’s next starring role.

Let’s just hope that Zorri doesn’t remove her helmet to tell Rey, “I am your mother.”  Because then no one will be able to figure out who the father is.

UPDATE:

A Twitter user made the observation that Zorri’s helmet seems to be inspired by the Rocketeer.

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I give you two nano-seconds to come up with a porno-pun for the Rocketeer.

 

Old Video Games Lack Social Justice Drivel

Which is why retro gaming is so very popular today.

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Luke is in need of fan remastering.

So what’s a hard-core gamer to do when they want modern graphics, but the modern games pester gamers with social justice propaganda?  Remaster old games that were far more entertaining, thanks to a lack of social justice dullardry of course.

I’ve written before about fan efforts for a Knights of the Old Republic game, and the 1313 video game effort.  But there are even more efforts out there.

The first is an update of the PC classic, X-Wing Fighter.  Even the SJW morons at Polygon had to admit how awesome it looked.

The next one is a fan remaster of the Star Wars Pod Racer game from Episode I, the episode that the media claims was hated universally by fans.

The next is a fan remaster of Rogue Squadron HD in Unreal Engine 4.

Only one thing is for sure.  As the social justice screeching gets louder in our entertainment, more and more of these efforts will rise, dawn, and/or awaken.  Let’s just hope that these efforts aren’t extinguished by Disney/Lucasfilm as the Knights of the old Republic effort was.  Because if they are, then they’ll become even more widespread in underground Bit Torrents.

 

Legacy Media Drags Natalie Portman Into Their Narrative

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The legacy media puts on a strong performance.

On May 8th, 2019, the legacy media published a slurry of articles focusing on the purported backlash against the Prequel Trilogy, and Natalie Portman’s reaction to it.

MashableNatalie Portman admits ‘Star Wars’ backlash was tough

CinemaBlendNatalie Portman Had A Tough Time Dealing With The The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy Backlash

IndieWireNatalie Portman Says Negative Reaction to ‘Star Wars’ Prequels Was ‘A Bummer’

Pop SugarNatalie Portman Reflects on Star Wars Prequels Backlash: “It Was a Bummer”

Geek TyrantNatalie Portman Opens Up About the Negative Fan Response to the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy

Daily Mail‘It was a bummer because people were so excited’: Natalie Portman reflects on the negative backlash to the Star Wars prequels

Digital SpyNatalie Portman opens up about Star Wars prequel backlash

EmpireNatalie Portman: Star Wars Prequels Backlash Was ‘A Bummer

The PlaylistNatalie Portman Talks ‘Phantom Menace’ Hate & Says It Was A “Bummer” To Disappoint ‘Star Wars’ Fans

MovieHolePortman reflects on Star Wars experience, The critical panning of the films was a “bummer” says the Oscar winner

ExpressStar Wars prequels star Natalie Portman on fan BACKLASH – ‘It was hard’

Surf The SpearNatalie Portman on the negative reviews on the fans’ Prequel Star Wars “

The story even went international.

MoviePilotStar Wars: So sehr traf Natalie Portman der Hass auf die Prequels

Shop Und ServiceNatalie Portman auf den negativen Kritiken über die Prequel Star Wars Fans “

FotoGramas‘STAR WARS’: NATALIE PORTMAN RECUERDA CÓMO VIVIÓ LAS CRÍTICAS A ‘LA AMENAZA FANTASMA’

CinemasComicsStar Wars: Natalie Portman recuerda las malas críticas del Episodio I

Hobby ConsalasStar Wars – Natalie Portman muestra su decepción por las malas críticas de las precuelas

The most interesting aspect of these articles is that they were all published on May 8th, 2019, all within hours of one another.

But it’s clear that the legacy media’s intent was to manufacture another narrative similar to the ones concerning Ahmed Best and Jake Lloyd, both of which have been completely discredited.  Just as the John Boyega narrative was discredited.  Just as the Kelly Marie Tran narrative was discredited.  Just as the Daisy Ridley narrative was discredited.

So what did Natalie Portman actually say?  This:

“It was hard. It was a bummer because it felt like people were so excited about new ones and then to have people feel disappointed. Also to be at an age that I didn’t really understand that’s kind of the nature of the beast. When something has that much anticipation it can almost only disappoint.”

“With the perspective of time, it’s been re-evaluated by a lot of people who actually really love them now. There’s a very avid group of people who think they’re the best ones now! I don’t have enough perspective to weigh in.”

So Ms. Portman didn’t use the word “backlash.”  She didn’t use the word “hate.”  She didn’t use the word “tough.”  She didn’t use the word “negative.”  Rather, those were words used by the legacy media in their headlines, which were seemingly meant to characterize Ms. Portman’s actual words in a certain way.

This is very reminiscent of how an SJW will point to the NY Times piece by Kelly Marie Tran, as evidence that Kelly Marie Tran said whatever the SJW is claiming she said.  When you helpfully point out that Ms. Tran said nothing whatsoever about her Instagram account in the NY Times piece, and that it was her editor instead who inserted the comment, you get blocked.  Or when you have to point out that both Ahmed Best and Jake Lloyd blamed the media rather than the fans for their troubles from the purported backlash.

Having said all of that, this particular attempt at narrative fabrication doesn’t seem to have solidified in the parrotings of seething frothing SJWs.  Then again, it may just need more fermentation time.

Regardless, how was it that all of these media outlets knew to report on this comment all within hours of one another, and all with nearly the same messaging in the headlines?  Either the NPC meme is factual and reality-based, or there is some serious collaborative, cooperative, collusion going on in the Collective community.