Galaxy’s Edge Flop Part Deux

History repeats itself at Galaxy’s Edge.

SJWs are incapable of learning from history because they’re utterly ineducable.  It’s why they keep beating their “collective” heads against a brick wall, trying to transform IPs that were enjoyed predominately by males and some females, into franchises that appeal more to a larger group of females.  They do this despite the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe toyline teaching us the disaster that happens when companies attempt to do this, 30 years ago.  It simply doesn’t work no matter how much SJWs want it to, and no matter how much they think it should.  Like it or not, it’s just the way the world works.

This, of course, is evidenced in Star Wars with everything from diminishing toy and merchandise sales, the box office disaster of Solo, the Blu-Ray sales nosedive, the comic book sales drops, and on and on.  10-year-old Billy won’t think something is cool if his middle-aged mother is wearing a T-Shirt of it.  Again, it’s just how the world works.

Readers may recall, how Hollywood Reporter breathlessly reported on Disneyland’s Galaxy’s Edge being packed to capacity on opening day.

Capacity

Good times!

Well, as readers of this blog now know, Galaxy’s Edge at Disneyland turned into a ghost town and is now being labeled a flop.

But that wouldn’t stop the very same writer from the Hollywood Reporter, Ryan Parker, from writing the exact same breathless article about Galaxy’s Edge at Disney World.

DisneyWorld

The same good times!

And of course, many other legacy media outlets followed the same example.

Well guess what, buttercup.

The Orlando Sentinel reports:

About 6 a.m., the line to ride the Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run stretched outside Galaxy’s Edge, all the way to the Chinese Theater, by the stairs leading to Toy Story Land, said Len Testa.

“Cast members were fantastic. Everyone was telling you were to line up. No one was grumpy,” said Testa, who runs Touring Plans, a guide for Disney vacations. “The guests weren’t grumpy because of that.”

It was a different world than Disneyland, which required advance reservations. Testa said he just walked straight in on its opening day.

In Orlando, some waited five hours to ride the Millennium Falcon, although the line wait time fell to 2 1/2 hours by lunch. It was only 75 minutes by early evening. Throughout the rest of the land, the main walkways were open, although lines formed to buy a $6 Coca-Cola shaped like a thermal detonator and at the more expensive shops.

giphy

“It’s like poetry, it rhymes!”

So much for the August predictions from that Disney Shareholder.

Thanks to Jeremy at Geeks + Gamers for the tip, who comments on this hilarity.

John Talks comments:

 

Media Gears Up To Blame Hurricane Dorian For Low Galaxy’s Edge Attendance

Fox Business reports:

Dorian couldn’t come at a more inopportune time for Walt Disney World: It just opened “Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge,” its most anticipated major new addition in decades. On Thursday, visitors waited for hours on opening day to get on the “Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run” ride under blue skies and bright sun for the first time ever.

The House of Mouse can’t seem to catch a break. This may be the second rocky debut of “Star Wars” lands in a row for the theme park operator.

New York Post reports:

“It couldn’t come at a worse time,” Dennis Speigel, president of consulting firm International Theme Park Services — who was scheduled to visit Galaxy’s Edge but canceled his trip — told the Washington Post. “It’s the perfect storm, literally: It’s Galaxy’s Edge, it’s the holiday and it’s just horrible.”

Universal Orlando Resort officials were keeping a close eye on the weather forecasts, but so far “everything is status quo,” spokeswoman Alyson Lundell said.

“At this time our park operations and hours are continuing as normal,” she told the outlet. “We have plans and procedures for serious weather that are time-proven, and we will continue to make operating decisions as we learn more.”

But Speigel said he expects many of those who have plans to visit Galaxy’s Edge will still make the trip.

“These are people who are there who had these tickets booked a long time ago,” he said. “They had it on their calendar, and come hell or high water — which is probably going to happen — they’re going to be there.”

TSA Recanonizes Coca-Cola

Previously I wrote about the TSA decanonizing Coca-Cola.  It now appears that they’ve had a change of heart.

CNN reports:

TSA reverses ban on Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge ‘thermal detonator’ Coke bottles

In a reversal, a TSA spokeswoman said in a new statement to CNN, “We have completed our review, and instructed our officers to treat these as an oversized liquid. Because these bottles contain liquids larger than 3.4 ounces (100 milliliters), they should be put in checked baggage or emptied to be brought on as carry-on item.”

Coke

Unless those toys are produced by the Disney mega-corporation.  A cynic might wonder how much sway Disney has over our airport security.

A Round Of Reddit Spoilers

This comes from Reddit user JediPaxis who claims to have inside sources.  How many times have we heard that before?  So take it all with a grain of salt.

The basic plot of Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker assembled from my sources.

I’ve been working on this post for a while now and was actually going to submit it this morning, but time got away from me. Now, in the wake of Jason Ward’s most recent article, now seems like the perfect time to put this out into the world. Everything from this point forward remains unchanged from my last proofread yesterday.

After a pretty lengthy dry spell for leaks and news related to The Rise of Skywalker, we’ve finally gotten some new stuff to dig into! In addition to the official news and footage, I have a boatload of unofficial news. I obviously can’t share details about who my sources are or how/where this information was obtained, but what I can tell you is that they’ve given me incredibly compelling reasons to pay attention to what they have to say. Now in the wake of D23, some of the things they’ve told me are being corroborated with official news and footage which bolsters my confidence in the accuracy of this report. That being said, with 4 months remaining until the release of the film, details may still be in flux and (due to the nature of what we do here), unless it’s photographic evidence, I can’t guarantee that everything you’ll read here will be 100% accurate. Some of this you’ve seen or read before, some of it will be new and some may challenge things widely thought to be true about the film.

SPOILERS!
While this is a spoiler friendly subreddit, I’m going to flag this as a spoiler post and warn anyone that doesn’t want to know what happens in the film to turn back now. If you are spoiler averse and decide to continue reading, it’s your own fault from here on out. If you are pro-spoilers, please do not share details of this post with anyone that does not want to be spoiled themselves. Without any further preamble…

As stated in a previous leak, it’s been reiterated to me that we will indeed be getting young Luke and Leia flashbacks in TROS. One in particular appears to be the opening of the movie no less. We begin the action by seeing one of, if not the final training lesson between Luke and Leia. Leia is giving up her Jedi training due to the fact that she’s pregnant with a son. My source on this mentioned a fight, so I believe that we may be getting Leia and Luke in a lightsaber duel toward the beginning of the film.

Picking up in the current point in the timeline. Leia appears to have taken up the mantel of Jedi mentor to Rey in the wake of Luke’s passing.

Note: This will likely coincide with the scene from the D23 First Look where Rey throws here lightsaber at a training remote and cuts down a tree.

Early on in the film, we catch up with Kylo’s story where he is “slaughtering” people with the purpose of tracking down one of the film’s McGuffins, a device known as the “wayfinder”.

I’m told that the clip of Kylo body slamming someone into the floor of a forest bathed in red light seen in the teaser. I’m also told that this planet is called “Exogol” (don’t quote me on the spelling).

Kylo obtains the wayfinder from “The Oracle” and finds it to contain coordinates to a point in the Unknown Regions. The wayfinder that Kylo is given once belonged to his grandfater.

Using the coordinates found within the wayfinder device, Kylo arrives in the Unknown Regions. Here, Kylo encounters Emperor Palpatine. How Palpatine is still alive and how he ended up in the Unknown Regions is still a mystery to me that I hope to learn more about in the next few months (Note: Daisy Ridley recently said in an interview that it’s explained in the film), but my source on this tells me that this is indeed Palpatine in the flesh. Kylo and Palpatine’s conversation apparently centers around ordering Kylo to find Rey and bring her to the Emperor with the goal of turning her to the dark side.

Note: It’s not lost on me that this part of the story feels very Return of the Jedi inspired, but we’ll just crack on and see how this all pans out.

My source specifically mentioned that Palpatine is very old and decrepit at this point, possibly on the verge of death. A little bit of Googling reveals that Palpatine is thought to have been born around 84 BBY making him in the neighborhood of 113 years old by the events of The Rise of Skywalker. His goal in luring Kylo to him and converting Rey to darkness is more or less to have Rey and Kylo inherit his “new Empire” and for them to rule it together.

In order to facilitate bringing about this “new Empire”, Palpatine has spent his 30 years of PTO creating a fleet of “Death Star Destroyers” (Note: I don’t know if this is their actual name or not. Personally, I hope not, it’s bit on the nose) which appear to be exactly what they sound like. Star Destroyers with Death Star tech mounted on them, giving them the capability to destroy a planet. (Note: Apparently once this particular technology was unleashed 30 some odd years ago, that Pandora’s box can’t be shut again). According to my source, these star destroyers make up the “Sith Fleet” that house the new red Sith Troopers that were showcased at SDCC in July.

Note: I wrote this prior to the First Look being shown and the fleet has since been confirmed. It’s comprised of Imperial star destroyers hiding in the Unknown Regions and we see what appears to be their planet destroying capabilities during the reel.

Enough about Rey and Kylo, let’s get back to the rest of the Resistance. Apparently we catch up with Finn and Poe returning to the jungle planet depicted in some of the behind the scenes images shown at Celebration. The duo has been in contact with an informant from within the First Order. The mole has told Finn and Poe about Kylo coming into possession of the “wayfinder”.

Note: It’s unclear to me if anyone in the Resistance understands what the “wayfinder” is or where it leads. They just want to find it.

Poe and Finn tell Leia about this and she sends Rey, Chewbacca, C-3PO and the other droids to accompany them on the mission. In order to get them going on their quest, Leia puts them in contact with someone on Pasaana (The desert planet, filmed in Jordan)

It’s at this point in the story where the Resistance team makes their way to the desert planet seen in the teaser and behind the scenes footage. It’s revealed that Leia’s contact is Lando Calrissian. Lando points them toward another one of our McGuffins, a “Sith artifact” that apparently turns out to be a dagger. This dagger has some sort of writing on it that 3PO can’t decipher.

Note: My source understands this to be a “Sith language”. That description is pretty vague for me, but the key point is sound. Heroes find dagger, dagger has writing on it that 3PO can’t read.

It’s during our heroes time on Passana that Kylo initiates a Force mind link between himself and Rey. Through their connection Kylo discovers where Rey and the Resistance crew are and leaves to pursue them. Eventually Kylo and the Knights of Ren arrive and begin to attack our heroes. One thing leads to another and the Resistance crew gets outnumbered and they are forced to make their escape on an old ship leaving the Millennium Falcon behind. Kylo recovers the Falcon and takes it back to his Star Destroyer.

As previously mentioned, 3PO is confronted with a challenge he is not equipped to handle. The artifact found on Passana contains a language that 3PO can’t translate without modifications. In order to modify 3POs programming, Poe brings the team to the wintery planet seen in the teaser (Kijimi per the Vanity Fair article). There C-3PO is modified to allow translation of the artifact. I’m told that the modification is done by a small alien (possibly the one pictured in Image A of my post from 6 months ago. I’m not 100% sure on that, but confident enough in who told this to me that I’m willing to put it out there) Once translatable the dagger supposedly reveals information regarding a second wayfinder, this one having belonged to Emperor Palpatine himself, leading the team to journey to the forest moon of Endor.

Note: My sources tell me that the scene from the First Look reel showing 3PO with red eyes connects to this event. The Red eyes are part of the “hack” that allows him to translate the “Sith language”.

During the events leading to the modification of 3PO on the wintery planet, Kylo initiates another Force connection between he and Rey. Kylo supposedly uses this as an opportunity to begin forcing Rey down the path of darkness. He does this by antagonizing Rey. Kylo tells her that he knows about the dagger and what it was once used for. Kylo apparently tells her that this dagger was used to murder Rey’s parents. Kylo maintains that her parents are nobodies in the grand story. This angers Rey and she lashes out at Kylo and a lightsaber duel ensues. Rey is on Kijimi and Kylo is on his Star Destroyer. According to my source no flashes of any additional locations are seen during this fight (possibly in the film at all, but we’ll see). Ren keeps the link alive long enough to learn Rey’s location and eventually peruses her in his Star Destroyer like before.

Zori Bliss is introduced sometime during their time on this planet.

Note: My sources told me that she has history with Poe prior to Keri Russell saying the same thing in an interview days ago. What this history may be is still a mystery to me right now.

Once Kylo arrives, our gang of heroes decide to sneak aboard and attempt to recover the Falcon prior to leaving. The rescue plan goes awry and the whole group gets captured by the First Order. It’s at this point that two major things happen:

It’s revealed that Hux is the First Order mole that has been feeding the Resistance information and he allows the heroes to escape while Kylo is distracted by dueling with Rey in person.

During this duel, Kylo adds another wrinkle to Rey’s backstory. He maintains that while her parents are nobodies, her grandparents (more specifically her grandfather) wasn’t. Kylo tells Rey that she is the granddaughter of Papatine. This explains his interest in bringing the random nobody from Jakku into the fold. The crew recovers the Falcon, Rey reconnects with them and they all flee.

Following her battle aboard the Star Destroyer and escape on the Falcon. Rey uses the newly gleaned information resulting from 3POs modifications and the translation of the dagger to travel to Endor. At this time, it’s a little unclear to me how Kylo gets from point A to point B, but supposedly he is waiting for Rey in Palpatine’s throne room aboard the wreckage of the second Death Star.

(Note: I assume he knows the location of the second wayfinder due to his newfound connection to Palpatine, but that’s just speculation on my part. I think it’s important to note that Kylo may have been there before considering that he had the charred helmet of Vader in TFA.)

Naturally, they fight. The specifics of this duel are unknown to me, but what I have been told about it is that it’s at this point when Rey begins to tap into some hatred to gain the upper hand and eventually defeats Kylo (Note: possibly destroying his lightsaber in the process, but that’s more rumor than leak at the moment), leaving him for dead on the wreckage of the Death Star. Rey takes possession of Palpatine’s wayfinder and leaves.

My sources tell me that the “Dark Rey” moment seen in the D23 footage is in fact a vision (described to me as thematically similar to Luke seeing himself as Vader in the cave on Dagobah). This apparently is a short sequence that happens right after Rey picks up Palpatine’s wayfinder.

While lying in the wreckage of the Death Star weakened state Kylo Ren reportedly sees a vision of his father. (Note: It’s unclear to me if Han appears as a bona fide ghost or just through the magic of injury induced hallucinations, but this interaction supposedly acts as Kylo’s “come to Jesus” moment.) Han tells Kylo that it’s never too late to change and when he leaves Endor, he leaves not as Kylo Ren, but as Ben Solo.

This duel is a critical tipping point for Rey as well. I’m told that in the wake of her confrontation with Kylo, she takes the wayfinder and flees to Ahch-to to collect her thoughts. Her mindset is reportedly mirror Luke’s while he was there prior to and during the events of The Last Jedi. The vision of a possible dark future for herself in conjunction fact that she nearly killed Kylo scared Rey in the same way that considering killing Ben in his sleep scared Luke many years prior. She feared the path she was headed down and decides to swear off the Jedi, exiling herself on Ahch-to. Rey scuttles the ship she used to get there just like Luke once did and she caps it all off by casting Anakin’s reconstructed lightsaber toward her ship. Just when it looks like the Jedi Order is going to end (again), the specter of Luke Skywalker appears to Rey, holding her discarded lightsaber and does what all good Force ghosts do; gives our hero the resolve to do what needs to be done. Finish the work Luke began over 30 years earlier and put an end to the Emperor for good. According to my source, Luke passes on Leia’s lightsaber to Rey. (Note: I don’t know where it came from, where it’s been all this time, or how Luke is able to give it to Rey, but what I can tell you (with only about 50% confidence at this point) is that Leia’s blade is supposedly blue.) Bolstered by her conversation with Luke, Rey takes Leia’s lightsaber, transmits the location of the Sith fleet to the Resistance before heading out herself.

On the subject of Force ghosts, Luke makes another appearance around the time of Rey and Kylo’s crises of faith. Back at the main Resistance base, Leia is on her deathbed. My source describes it to me like Yoda’s death in Return if the Jedi, nothing bad happened, it was just her time to go. Luke has come to says goodbye, but before it all ends for Leia, he has one final lesson for her…

From what I’ve been able to put together, the final act of the film is structured like this:

Rey leaves Ahch-to and travels to the Sith fleet in the Unknown Regions. Eventually the Resistance fleet arrives and battle ensues. Somehow, Rey finds her way to The Emperor who has been waiting for her. Palpatine confirms that what Kylo told her was true. Apparently after his defeat at DSII, Palpatine was shaken by the fact that he wasn’t able to maintain his hold on Vader or seduce Luke to the darkness due to their familial bond. During the course of their conversation Palpatine makes reference to this bond between Vader and Luke and likens it to his bond with Rey hoping that whatever familial connection they have will be enough to win her over and become as strong as that of the Skywalkers. Note: What my source described next feels very reminiscent of RotJ. Rey is trapped in The Emperor’s throne room, watching two opposing fleets battle while she is helplessly gazes onward. It’s at this point that Kylo/Ben reappears. How we get to this next part is still a bit fuzzy to me, but apparently Ben and Rey join forces and begin attacking Palpatine. Leia’s lightsaber comes back into play when Rey and Kylo share the Skywalker lightsabers throughout their fight. At some point the Emperor overpowers them both and supposedly kills Ben. (Note: there have been reports from other reputable leakers that Kylo kind of/sort of dies, but my source on this seemed pretty unambiguous. Personally, I think we’ll just have to wait and see what we learn over the next few months.) When it looks like all Hope is lost, the ghosts of Luke and Leia show up to aid Rey. Together they overpower the Emperor and end his darkness once and for all.

As for what the other members of the Resistance are doing at this point, they are engaged in a space battle against Palpatine’s fleet lead by General Pryde. The Resistance’s goal is supposedly to take out the flagship, severing communications and making navigation out of the Unknown Regions impossible. The flagship is destroyed around the same time that the Emperor dies.

The last thing I was told is regarding the final sequence of the film. I don’t why, but our heroes travel to Tatooine. During these scenes, it is supposedly revealed that Rey has cannibalized Anakin/Luke’s lightsaber and Leia’s to make one of her own that supposedly has a yellow/gold blade. She buries the leftover pieces on the grounds of the former Lars homestead. The final shots of the Skywalker saga allegedly echo how the adventure began in ‘77, our heroes gazing at the horizon dreaming of the future as twin suns set in the distance.

Thanks to Gerry Blue for the tip.

SC Reviews comments:

Delilah Dawson Writes About Polyamorous Menstruaters For Star Wars

bandcaptphasma202

Let’s hope her armor has an automatic tampon dispenser built in.

I can’t imagine why kids aren’t connecting with Disney Star Wars.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Star Wars is now written for middle-aged feminists.  Behold Delilah Dawson, author of the Black Spire novel which serves as the back story for Galaxy’s Edge.

Dawson

A collective, collaborative, cooperative, community that menstruates together.

How nice of Delilah to bring this “realism” to a kid’s franchise about “space wizards with laser swords.”  What 10-year-old boy wouldn’t delight in reading about polyamorous menstruaters?

Maybe Delilah can invent a franchise of her own.  Instead of the Terminator, we can have the Menstruator.  Or is that the one that’s coming out soon?

Thanks to Miller for the tip.

UPDATE:

Delilah has decided to delete her tweet.

DawsonDelete

Fart Party In Children’s Star Wars Book

Throughout Star Wars, flatulent creatures have been peppered in here and there for fleeting comedy relief.

Voldran

Join the flatulent Resistance.

But in this brave and bold new evolved age of Star Wars, the SJW love affair with all things fecal demands more.  Flatulence takes center stage in Star Wars: Join The Resistance: Escape From Voldran.

Voldran2

Click to enlarge.

It’s nice to see the traditionally marginalized flatulent properly represented with equal equality.

Thanks to Fangsofjeff for the tip.