Jewelry & Cancer For Kids

It’s often been said by SJWs that Star Wars is a kid’s movie about space wizards with laser swords. Yet you’ll be hard pressed to find any kid with a $150,000 Death Star wrist watch.

According to GQ:

Of all the childhood predilections men carry into adulthood, those attached to Han Solo and Luke Skywalker have always proved particularly unrelenting. A love of Star Wars, a franchise now worth an estimated $68 billion, has been crossing generations for more than four decades, just as the space opera’s protagonists cross galaxies in the blink of an eye.

It’s for this reason that Kross Studio is so confident it will find buyers for the ten examples of its $150,000 Star Wars x Kross Studio Ultimate Collector Set. The set is made up of a replica kyber crystal container, movie prop kyber crystals used on the set of Rogue One and a one-off watch design with the gloriously ominous name of “Death Star Tourbillon”.

Overpriced Swatch Watch.

While merchandise that Lucasfilm offers in a kid’s price range is full of carcinogens according to Gear Patrol:

Online pharmacy Valisure, which performs product testing, has found that a number of hand sanitizers may contain a cancer-causing carcinogen called benzene, as reported by Bloomberg.

As it turns out, though, that security might have come at a cost. Of the 260 bottles of hand sanitizers from 168 brands that Valisure tested, 17 percent contained detectable traces of benzene. (Eight percent of the bottles tested had small enough traces of benzene that the Food and Drug Administration deemed it tolerable.)

Benzene exposure is linked to an increased risk of developing leukemia and other blood disorders, according to the National Cancer Institute. Cigarette smoke is a common way people are exposed to the chemical.

A full list of the offending hand sanitizers can be found in the petition that Valisure sent to the FDA to get the agency to investigate. Some of the brands include artnaturals, True Wash, Born Basic and Star Wars The Mandalorian, so you might want to toss that Baby Yoda bottle.

Manufactured by Best Brands Consumer Products, the Star Wars Mandalorian hand sanitizers were shown to have high amounts of benzene.

Cute on the outside, cancer on the inside.

42 thoughts on “Jewelry & Cancer For Kids

    • A surprise, to be sure. But what a welcome one. Now if only they could reassign Kennedy to “better” projects, quote unquote, put Favreau in charge, and allow the continuation of Legends, things would be right as rain and I’d be happy as a pig in slop.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Star Wars fans won’t be interested in dumping 150k on a fucking watch. It’ll more likely be wealthy business types, who will try and flip it. Any Star Wars collector with 150k isn’t going to be bothered with buying shit like that—they will go straight to AFA Kenner Star Wars as investing in that, is a wise move.

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    • Yeah, most fans are lower-rung consumers struggling to make ends meet. This is merely for the high-class entrepreneur fanbase, which does exist, but sadly seems like the ONLY customers they want. They’d rather court the latter than allow a new Legends novel to be printed. Just think about that, really. Disney’s war on literature is a subtle thing, not like the flagrant book burning of Nazi days, but coming close.

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  2. If we had an announcement to the anticipated Darth Zannah novel, that cost $98.00, and required me to walk downtown in winter to get it, then I’m grabbing a snow parka. I’d buy six copies and spread it around.

    Businesses need to stop chasing the topical crowd or focusing on what’s trending. Like all systems, that is prone to abuse.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah! Let the kiddos have their TV, cartoons, anime crap, and whatever movie Disney peddles. They got an army of older customers willing to walk through an active lava field to buy product, and they’re wasting them in lieu of corporate welfare. Very sad. Trump 2024!

      Liked by 1 person

      • What if they removed the Legends label from it? Hoping to confuse casual fans into believing it could exist in both timelines? Even if Drew Karpyshyn wrote it as a Legends book? I mean, it’s so disrespectful and it spreads lies. I’d be torn, honestly.

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  3. “Star War” singular. Can’t even get the franchise name right and is only just been announced as author. At least she’s got all that franchise knowledge from…Wookiepedia. Silly me, thought she would have been a fan.

    Liked by 1 person


  4. (7m)

    This would open a great opportunity for Gina to force some face time on Bill Maher’s show… Insist on Heidi MeinKampf being there too, and introduce to Maher’s audience what propaganda is and how they’ve been fed it.

    I’ll bet this is a terrible idea because of how dirty the left plays… but it is an opportunity.

    Hope you’re good, Gee.

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  5. Emily Skoukani, Lucasfilm story group, identifies herself in her Twitter bio to be “Your friendly non-binary”, yet she’s married to a dude. I don’t get it.

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  6. I can’t believe that youtube decided to hide downvotes because they know that stupid Shang-Chi trailer is going to get downvoted to hell. Right now twitter and msm is pretending that they care about Asians and trying to tie it in with stupid Shang Chi. That film is probably tracking so terribly because Simu Liu has stupid politics and he didnt shut up on twitter. Disney begged YouTube to hide downvotes to spare the humiliation and Asian face losing of the Shang Chi trailer getting ratioed and downvoted. Boycott Shang Chi. Boycott them because Disney as anti-American and hates fans.

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    • Gee, this seems in the same vein as the deeply desperate marketing shift back toward the original trilogy in the fall of 2019, just before Fall of Skywalker was released.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Hoooooo bowoi.

    IJ5 is moving along. IIRC, the old chatter had Star Wars limiting KK’s involvement but she was still in there attempting to take credit for other people’s creations and directions. Indy is all hers though (again IIRC) She can’t just stand at the finish line and monkey with someone’s nearly finished product this time. Well, i guess she can actually… But this time she’ll get all the splatter.

    Magnum Opus time, Katie!

    There are no coattails for you on this one. Or is Frank going to put on one of your snappy pantsuits and do your job for you? What did you promise him in return? A hall pass with Brie? Or is he more of a Tom Holland type?

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    • Star Wars is dead. Indiana Jones is dead. Star Trek is dead. Doctor Who is dead. Genre movies/TV are dead. The comic book industry is dead.

      Sure, there’s still good material being produced, here and there, but the core pillars of nerd culture–some of them stretching back nearly a century–have been knocked down and dismantled, with no hope of returning. Going mainstream is what destroyed them, because mega-corporations and the Woke Cult have dug their hooks in, and have perverted and destroyed these once-great franchises from the inside-out.

      It’s over. Time for greener pastures. We need to mock and criticize and let go of these things we love. Let them burn. Put them out of their misery. Don’t let their killers win.

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    • I will add, this is what the importance of ‘peer-review’ looks like. Unfortunately, it isn’t too hard to fill a group of peers with corrupted ideologues. Seems like statistics is now one of the liberal arts.

      Nice job McCort. instead of demonstrating how vicious the alt-right is, you’ve demonstrated once again how dishonest and selfish the ctrl-left is. Does this failure affect your value as a data analyst?

      Like

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