20 Points That Slumming Through SJW “Think” Pieces Teaches Us

So I’ve been pouring over SJW “think” pieces for several months now.  Given that SJWs mostly all think alike, there are some common themes that run through their articles.  So there’s something of genuine value to learn here, with regards to increasing the effectiveness of our arguments.

SJW

1. THEY LOVE CITING THE LAST JEDI’S 1.3 BILLION DOLLAR EARNINGS, BUT WON’T ACKNOWLEDGE FINANCIAL FAILINGS

I’ve written here about the waning box office for The Last Jedi immediately after the opening weekend.  I’ve pointed out that in China, where people have no nostalgic attachment to the franchise, it was perceived as garbage.  The waning toy and merchandise sales point to further problems.  Not one SJW is able to acknowledge any of this.  They’re somehow under the impression that Star Wars is too big to fail, that it will always be around no matter what, and that it will always make money.  This may be that many of them aren’t old enough to remember a time without Star Wars, so they can’t imagine life without it.  They haven’t seen the Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers franchises come and go.  They haven’t witness the slow fading of the Star Trek franchise from its height in the mid 1990s.  So they think that Star Wars is forever, when in fact, nothing is.

2. THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN FEMINIST IDEOLOGY AND THE FEMALE GENDER

When someone criticizes Disney Star Wars for its heavy handed feminist messaging, the SJW will use that as an opportunity to call the critic a sexist and/or misogynist.  But remember, in 2018 feminism and the female gender are no longer inextricably linked.  Thanks to SJW activistsmen now routinely and proudly proclaim themselves to be feminists.  So feminist ideology and the female gender are two different things in the modern era.  Criticism of feminism, does not automatically translate into de facto criticism of the women in the 21st Century.

3. THEY’RE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THERE WERE NO FEMALE OR MINORITY CHARACTERS BEFORE THE SEQUEL TRILOGY

Time and time again they talk about diversity in the Sequel Trilogy as though it’s a brand new thing in Star Wars.  When discussing diversity in Star Wars, they almost never mention Samuel L. Jackson, or Temuera Morrison.  They rarely mention Billy Dee Williams.  This is why they stupidly call critics racists, sexists, and/or misogynists; they don’t think females or minorities have ever been in the films before 2015.  Some of the brighter ones will argue that they’re talking about a primary character.  But that betrays the fact that they haven’t really watched the films, because the films were always ensemble pieces without a singular primary character.

4. THEY TRY TO DISMISS THE BACKLASH AS A “TINY VOCAL MINORITY”

Early on, few if any of them refused to acknowledge that the backlash even existed.  But as the backlash grew louder, and they were forced to acknowledge it, they then attempted to dismiss it as a “tiny vocal minority.”  The truth is more likely that it is they, who are in the minority.  And that’s why just as of this week they’ve taken to openly attacking and admonishing backlashers.  They’e gone so far as to mischaracterize Backlashers as racists and misogynists, despite the fact that the Backlash itself is diverse.

5. THEY’RE UNDER THE DELUSION THAT DISNEY SAVED STAR WARS

Many of them seem to feel that the Star Wars franchise was going nowhere until Disney purchased it.  They feel this despite a highly successful Clone Wars television series on the air, and the Sequel Trilogy already being developed by Lucasfilm prior to the Disney purchase.

6. THEY ACCUSE BACKLASHERS OF FEELING ENTITLED

This after they screamed to the high heavens with their own entitlement for equal representation and gender equality when Disney bought the franchise.  This despite the fact that a war time setting doesn’t really warrant perfect gender equality, since it’s primarily men who fight wars.

7. SJWs AREN’T JUST IN THE FANDOM, THEY’RE ALSO WITHIN LUCASFILM

It’s a sad fact that Lucasfilm currently employs political activists rather than artists.  We’ve seen this truth not only in the new material they’re producing under Disney, but also in the public comments from Lucasfilm representatives as well.

8. THEY WILL LIKE ANYTHING THAT PUSHES A POLITICAL AGENDA THEY AGREE WITH, WITHOUT REGARD TO ACTUAL FILM CRAFT

This goes both for SJW fans and professional critics.

9. THEY WEIRDLY ASSUME THAT THEY HAVE SOME KIND OF AUTHORITY

A number of articles have called for a “ceasefire” from the BacklashWhen so doing, they start taking this authoritative tone, instructing Backlashers what is or is not acceptable forms of criticism.  As amusing as it is, it’s important to remind them of the reality that they have no authority over anything.

10. THEY CAN’T COPE WITH CONFLICTING ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORES

They’ll attribute The Last Jedi audience score to Russian bots and racist/misogynist hackers, but can’t explain why Black Panther’s score and public reception wasn’t also affected by the same phantoms.  They’re unable to comprehend, that one was a bad movie, and that they other was good.  Occam’s Razer and all of that.

11.  THEY HAVE A SERIOUS MISUNDERSTANDING OF BASIC POLITICS

Both the SJW fans and the SJWs within Lucasfilm, think they’re “Resisting” President Trump. What’s Trump’s agenda?  The GOP/Republican agenda.  What’s the GOP/Republican agenda?  Smaller limited government.  So they’re resisting smaller limited government, which they apparently think is authoritarian fascism.  But let’s translate this into Star Wars to demonstrate how nonsensical this all is, and ask some simple questions:

So the First Order is a fascist government complete with stormtroopers. Would a fascist government support small limited government? How does one impose a fascist state with small limited government? Don’t you need big government in order to impose a fascist state?  How can you be authoritarian without a big government to back up your authority?  Who is it that supports big government?

So they’re political understanding is absolutely upside down.

MoreGovernment

12. ANTI-GUN AND ANTI-WAR SJWs HAVE BARNACLED THEMSELVES TO A FRANCHISE ABOUT…WAR

Far too often fans forget that the word “wars” appears in the title of the franchise.  Most of these SJW fans seem to think that the franchise is about cute cosplay outfits.

13. FEMINISTS SEEM TO THINK THAT LEIA PRANCED AROUND THROUGH THE ENTIRE OT IN NOTHING BUT THE GOLD BIKINI

Feminist writer after feminist writer type out silly sentences such as this:

But in the context of a franchise that has been known to use women’s bodies as an enticement for viewers it’s also a clear sign that the creators know that straight white men aren’t the only audience they’re catering to anymore.”

Not one of them seems to understand the proper context or intention of the gold bikini, which was not male audience gratification.  I’ve explained the context of Leia’s gold bikini here.

14. THEY WANT YOU TO GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE RATHER THAN VOICE PROTEST

SJWs happen to like getting indoctrinated with politics that they already agree with.  It gives them a sense of affirmation.  But with no fundamental understanding of basic economics, they don’t understand that paying customers walking away means that their political propaganda will no longer be funded.  So they tell you to go “find something else that brings you joy” or some such nonsense.  A few of them however do understand this, which is why those few attempt to shame critics into silence so they can continue to have their political propaganda funded.

15. THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN POLITICAL PROPAGANDA AND GENUINE ART

Lucasfilm is currently staffed with political activists rather than genuine artists.  This is self evident to any educated thinking person.  The SJW though, sees what Lucasfilm is currently producing as art, not having any real experience or education into what political propaganda looks like.  This is why the silly Bechdel Test will determine for them whether or not they like a movie.

16. FEMINISTS THINK MEN ACT A CERTAIN WAY

When feminists attempt to be “gender equal,” many of them will put on their best performance as to what they think men act like.  We see this expressed in the character of Holdo, and to some extent, Rey.  They seem to think that men in the military go around slapping each other in the face and holding back cocky pilots all day long.  But, men don’t really act this way by and large, unless it’s really necessary.  It is truly bizarre though, that out of one side of their mouths they’ll prattle on endlessly about “toxic masculinity,” but then out of the other side of their mouth they’ll whine that they want equal representation in a war movie.  I’m not sure how they reconcile that.

17. THEY FREQUENTLY ARGUE AGAINST POINTS THAT NO ONE MAKES

Part of this is that they have some pre-rehearsed rhetoric that they’re dying to spew.  Part of it is that they want to deflect the conversation into some other area where they’re better prepared.  Part of it is that they seek to mischaracterize what you actually have said or written, into what they want people to think that you’ve said or written.  In either of these cases, it’s always equally bizarre.

18. THEY HAVE AN OBSESSED HATRED FOR STRAIGHT WHITE MALES

Nearly all of their articles cite the straight white male in some form, along with an accompanying pejorative.  That form of bigotry seems to be not just acceptable, but also highly fashionable among today’s SJW ignorati given how commonplace it is in their work.  Make no mistake, the SJWs within Lucasfilm have the same problem.

19. FEW OF THEM HAVE READ OR WATCHED ANY STAR WARS MATERIAL PRIOR TO THE SEQUEL TRILOGY

They’ll often prove this by attempting to compare Rey to Luke, and claiming that if Rey is a Mary Sue, then Luke is one too.  It’s more of that equality nonsense that they try to force onto every aspect of life.  As I explain in my review of The Force Awakens, this comparison is ridiculous, if you’ve actually watched the films.  Clearly, many have not, and are basing their opinions on brief clips, what they’ve seen at conventions, or what they’ve heard other people say or read other people write, etc.

20. SJWs will never be happy or satisfiedNot ever.

And there you have it.  These 20 points pretty much describe the main talking points in any Star Wars related SJW written article that you’ll read at any point in the future.

Rian Johnson Hints At More Force Shenanigans

George Simpson from express.co.uk reports on a question about Dark Side Force Ghosts that was asked of Rian:

Speaking with LA Times, he said: “I think that would be interesting. We haven’t seen them in the movies as far as I can remember.”

Johnson continued: “But that would be really interesting considering the dark side is about self-preservation, trying to find immortality, and the notion that the light side actually got to it through selflessness, what would the dark side version of that look like? There’s so much cool [stuff] to think about if you’re willing to open your head a little bit!”

He continued: “The truth is, because Star Wars until The Force Awakens has been set in amber and we hadn’t had a new Star Wars movie in 10 years, you forget that they were introducing new Force stuff with each movie, based on the requirements of the story.

“Force-grabbing didn’t come around until Empire [Strikes Back], it wasn’t in A New Hope. Same with Force ghosts.”

Johnson added: “They’d introduce new ideas of what could happen with the Force each time…The one point where we do introduce a bit of a twist in terms of Force ghosts is where Yoda calls down the lightning onto the tree.

“That, I think, is a tantalising hint of the potential of someone who is a Force ghost interacting with the real world.”

Rian

Rian’s head is open to whatever Kathleen Kennedy puts into it.

Conflict Between Alden and Ron Howard?

SC Reviews has an interesting perspective on the recent Esquire interview with Alden Ehrenreich:

From Esquire:

Of Lord and Miller, Ehrenreich says, “They had a different style than Ron in terms of the way we were working.” He’s not sure what their Solo would have been like. He liked the script. He liked them as directors. He can’t say whether they were really taking an Apatovian riffs-over-script approach. “From the first screen test on, we played around with it a lot. We tried a lot of different things, rethinking behind the scenes,” he says. “That was yielding a different movie than the other factions wanted. I knew what I was doing, but in terms of what that adds up to, you’re so in the dark as an actor. You don’t know what it’s shaping up to be, how they’re editing it, so it’s kind of impossible without having seen those things to know what the difference [of opinion] was, or exactly what created those differences.”

He wasn’t told that Lord and Miller were being replaced until it happened, he says. The directors themselves told him almost immediately. “They said, ‘We were let go,’ and that’s it. They had mentioned there were some disagreements before, but they didn’t get into it. They wished me the best with the rest of the movie. On a personal level, it felt emotional, for them to be going after we’d set out on that course together. Because I spent a lot of time with them, and we had a really good relationship—they also cast me. But I think at that point, they were kind of on board with [the decision], too. Like, ‘This is what’s happening.’ That’s not what they said to me, but that was the vibe I got.”

Ehrenreich says the fan-press rumor that it was he who approached Kennedy with concerns about Lord and Miller is “not at all” true, that he couldn’t imagine ever making a call like that “unless people were being put in danger or something.”

He also insists that the story about Lucasfilm forcing Lord and Miller to bring in an acting coach—later identified as writer- director Maggie Kiley—to work on his performance has been mischaracterized: “She was part of conversations that happened for a couple weeks at one point,” Ehrenreich says, “but that was basically it.” (Lord and Miller say that Kiley is someone they’d worked with on previous films and that they brought her on Solo as a resource for the entire cast as well as themselves.) As for the various stories about the Solo crew breaking into spontaneous applause upon hearing of Howard’s appointment or (depending on which account you read) Lord and Miller’s firing?

“That’s bullshit,” Ehrenreich says. “For a crew to do that would mean they hated [Lord and Miller], which was not by any stretch the case.”

The production went dark for almost three weeks between Lord and Miller’s sacking and Howard’s arrival. “It was this period of going, What if they get somebody that you don’t get along with? What if they get somebody that has a totally different vision?” Ehrenreich admits. But he adds that Howard won over the cast and crew quickly.

“Everybody’s hackles are raised a bit, and Ron had this ability to come in and deal with morale and get everybody enthusiastic about, A, what we’d already shot, because I think his feeling was that a lot of what we’d already done was really good, and, B, the direction for the next piece of it. He knew how to navigate a tricky situation, and almost from the first or second day everybody pretty quickly recharged and got excited again about the movie.” (Lord and Miller ended up with executive-producer credits on the film. Everyone involved is cagey about how much of their material ended up in the final cut.)

It’s interesting that these sentiments towards Lord & Miller, are similar to sentiments expressed previously be fellow cast members who also worked under the duo on this film.

“Obviously, it was a surprise. I love Phil and Chris — everybody loves Phil and Chris — they’re so brilliant.” -Thandie Newton

“I will tell you this much though,” Williams adds. “What saddens me most is I was very proud of the work that I did. What I believe I have created with Emilia Clarke and Woody Harrelson and Alden [Ehrenreich, who plays Solo]… I thought it was some great work. We was on the spaceship, and we all had these amazing scenes together, and I thought it was a great opportunity, and I thought it was some great stuff. It’s unfortunate the world won’t get to see it.” – Michael K. Williams

People who worked with Lord & Miller on this film, seem to have good things to say about their experiences.

han-solo-thandie-newton-ron-howard-set-image-820x490

I can’t find any pics of Howard with his arm around Alden…

Ethan Van Sciver, puts forth the theory that Alden Eherenreich also has a bit of a beef with Ron Howard, and that it was Ron Howard himself who leaked rumors that Alden couldn’t act.  Ethan also suggests that the reason that Alden let it slip that he’s signed up for three films, is that perhaps Lucasfilm may be looking to fire Alden, if Ron Howard doesn’t particularly care for him.

I’d only add, that if any of this is the case, then we should start to see comments from other cast and crew members echoing issues with Ron Howard.  The truth will eventually come out, because it always does.

In all of this though, I can’t help but think of Lord & Miller’s reactions and responses about the casting of Alden in the following video.  They don’t really appear to be too happy about the topic.  Something seems amiss and awkward with regards to Alden’s casting.

Don’t Be Fooled By The He/She Back And Forth In Enfys Nest Marketing

I’ve previously discussed how Enfys Nest is in fact Qi’Ra in disguise.  I’ve also discussed the contradictory pronouns in Enfys Nest marketing material that are meant to protect the integrity of the big reveal of Enfys Nest as Qi’Ra in the film’s purported twist ending.  Now comes word of more pronoun contradictions from Jeremy at Geeks + Gamers.

Expect more to follow.

Do not be fooled by this marketing ploy.

What the political activists at Lucasfilm are attempting to do is deliver another moronic social justice lesson.  After the film is released, the cast and crew will talk about how brilliant it was to put out contradictory information on Enfys Nest’s gender in order to keep people guessing, and how it really goes to show that gender equality is a real thing, and that you shouldn’t let gender bias affect your viewpoints, and it’s going to be a really hard lesson for the chauvinist character Han Solo to learn, and don’t all those means-spirited middle-aged OT fans feel stupid for calling Rey a Mary Sue, and don’t all those misogynists feel silly for roasting Rose Tico and Holdo, because this really shows everyone that girls can be just as manly as men can be, because nobody had a clue what Enfys Nest’s gender was…yadda, yadda, yadda.

In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if all the Behind-The-Scenes Blu-Ray extras for this film, recording the cast and crew saying all of that, has already been recorded and edited.

But anyone with even a cursory knowledge of life drawing and the human anatomy, and the thought process involved in SJW political activism, will be able to see right through this transparent charade:

QiRaEnfysNest

Social justice politics are no mystery.

Shipper Bait

Hando

Chris Lee of Vulture.com reports on a 6 minute sequence from Solo shown at CinemaCon:

As the pile of chips grows in front of Han — whom Lando first calls “Haaan” before being corrected — Lando begins to lose his cool. Just then, Solo goes all in, pushing all his money into the pot. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down,” Lando says. “You might want to quit while you’re ahead.”

“You might want to quit while you’re behind,” Han responds.

“You’re adorable,” Lando fires back.

A ripple of recognition shuddered through the Caesar’s Palace Ballroom as conventioneers registered this film’s reinterpretation of Star Wars’ iconic rivals. Despite months of negative buzz and the uncertainty surrounding Solo in light of its original directors being fired and replaced, suffice it to say the material played well in the room.

Normal people would interpret this as banter between rivals as one attempts to belittle the other.

But you can bet your bottom dollar, that Hando shippers will be swooning over this from now until the movie’s release.

Alden Confirms That He Is Signed Up For Three Han Solo Films

Alex Pappadamas from Esquire interviews Alden Ehrenreich.  It’s a lengthy article that goes into some of the controversies around the production, with new statements from Lord & Miller which contradict earlier rumors, and so on and so forth.  As far as I’m’ concerned, the real story won’t really come out until everyone’s NDAs expire.

But there was this little interesting tidbit:

I ask Ehrenreich how many he’s signed up for.

“Three,” he says, then flinches, understanding he may have just created a disturbance in the Force. “I don’t know if that’s officially, uh, public. But—yeah.” 

Solo

Triple your pleasure, triple your fun.

SJW Rant All Bluster And No Substance

John DiLillo writes an irrational and uneducated rant entitled, In My Tisch Opinion: ‘The Last Jedi’ Isn’t a Mess, It’s a Masterpiece.

shit

Another masterpiece for John to admire.

In it he writes:

Here are 10 different ways we were blessed by Rian Johnson.

Yeah, you’re not easily sucked into the cult of personality or anything.

If you’re on the Internet, you’ve heard people complain about The Last Jedi.

You’ve probably heard people complain about The Last Jedi if you’re not on the internet too.

The backlash has been inescapably obtuse, with people nitpicking just about every angle of the production and screeching “Star Wars is ruined!”

What backlash?  Lucasfilm reps and your contemporaries keep telling everyone that the backlash doesn’t exist.

…from the depths of their parents’ basements.

Which is exactly where you’ll be heading immediately after graduation.

And that’s too bad, because The Last Jedi is a legitimate masterpiece and the first movie to truly deserve the Star Wars mantle since the original trilogy.

I’m willing to entertain your arguments.

The majority of knocks against it come from a place of bad faith or from people who just plain didn’t pay attention.

We shall see.

In honor of its home video release, we decided to break down all of the dumbest and most unreasonable complaints about the best Star Wars movie since The Empire Strikes Back.

Let’s do this thing.

Feel free to @ us, because it means we’ve won.

According to whom?

1. “This movie is for kids!”

Worst thing about modern fandom is the delusion that things you liked as a child should stop appealing to kids now that you’re no longer one

Um. Yeah. Star Wars is for kids. Remember how the original Star Wars has a garbage can robot who makes a sad noise and falls over? Remember how you loved that when you were a kid? Well, now you’re just going to have to suck it up and try to appreciate the cute puffin aliens, because Star Wars isn’t going to suddenly become R-rated and abandon jokes just because you turned 40 and went through a crushing divorce.  But I do recommend that you watch Logan’s Run at some point.

This of course is incorrect.  The Original Trilogy was actually an all ages affair.  That’s why those who saw it as a child, continued to watch the Original Trilogy repeatedly throughout adulthood, and continue to do so.  It’s also why parents were willing to take their children to these movies in great measure; there were deeper layers of the onion for the adults too.  In fact, that’s the only real reason that Disney saw the franchise as still viable 40 years after its inception.  And let’s face it, dismembered limbs in bar fights and the smoldering corpses of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru don’t exactly scream little kids movie.  You should try watching the movie some time, you might like it.

Nobody is expecting Star Wars to become R-Rated, or abandon jokes altogether.  However, jokes that actually work would be nice, as would compelling characters and a coherent plot.  I’m not sure that turning 40 or going through a crushing divorce has anything to do with any of that.  But I do recommend that you watch Logan’s Run.

The Sequel Trilogy might be said to be kid’s movies, since that’s the mentality of the people who are writing them.

2. “Bombs shouldn’t fall in space!”

Guys, this is going to hurt, Star Wars isn’t real. It’s not sci-fi. It’s not reality. It’s pure fantasy. Bombs shouldn’t fall in space? Sure. You know what else shouldn’t happen in space? Loud laser gun sound effects. But fine, as long as we’re doing this: An object in motion will remain in motion, so bombs falling out of a spaceship would continue to fall, and also TIE bombers already existed in the original trilogy, so please continue to talk about how this movie ruined Star Wars “science.”

Even in fantasy worlds such as Star Wars, the author(s) have to abide by rules of the world that they are creating, otherwise it becomes farce.  Surely you’ve had creative writing classes that have gone over this.  Otherwise, why not have Micky Mouse fight alongside Rey and Poe?  They’re all part of the Disney family after all.  Things have to be depicted within reasonable realism in the Star Wars setting, otherwise suspension of disbelief is shattered.  Take Kal-Leia for instance.  You’re far to young to remember this, but at the time the original 1977 Star Wars film was actually considered a gritty take on the old adventure serials from the 30s and 40s.

3. Leia’s space flight

Yes, the visual of Princess Leia soaring through space wreckage and back into her capital ship is a little goofy. It’s also totally fucking badass. It’s the best possible way for the character to escape death and a terrific way of demonstrating her latent Force powers.

The surreal and beautiful image of the late Carrie Fisher finally getting to use the Force in a movie is great. If you don’t think so, you’re wrong, and you’re even more wrong if you’re one of those people who thinks the movie should have used this moment to kill Leia and write in Fisher’s untimely passing. And cut out every other perfect scene Fisher had, including her reunion with Mark Hamill?! Go sit in the corner.

It’s a deeply stupid way to escape death and a moronic way of demonstrating latent Force Powers.  I’ve written about it at length here.

4. Admiral Holdo and Poe

I’m not one to assume the motives of anyone who didn’t like a space movie, but it seems to me that the female aspects of The Last Jedi are pretty over-represented in criticisms of the film. Strange! I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything at all.

The female aspects of The Last Jedi are not over-represented in criticisms of the film, pretty or otherwise.  Rather, what the criticisms represent instead, are criticisms of silly militant feminism in the film.  Remember, feminist ideology and the female gender are two separate things in the 21st Century, thanks to male progressives who now claim to be feminists.  So criticism of feminism does not automatically translate into criticism of women in the modern era, as much as you may want it to.

One of those female aspects is the presence of Holdo, Laura Dern’s purple-haired admiral who assumes control of the Resistance while Leia is recovering from her exposure to space. People really don’t like that the woman in charge doesn’t tell her young, hot-headed subordinate her secret plan.

Do they not like Holdo because she doesn’t inform her subordinates of her plan as a commander should, or do they not like her because her decisions lead all but a dozen or so Resistance fighters directly to their deaths?

In case you haven’t noticed, Poe Dameron is kind of a dick. All that Holdo knows about him is that he’s just been demoted for putting Resistance ships in danger in service of a reckless plan that wasn’t approved by his last female superior. So she keeps something from him, which is her right. 

How is keeping the Resistance’s plans from Poe her right?  Are you sure that you understand what a right actually is?  So what if Poe is a dick?  Since when was being a dick grounds for withholding military intel from the troops who need it in order to coordinate their actions?  Doing so for such a reason is small minded and petty.  And probably feminist.

And then Poe goes off and puts Resistance ships in danger in service of another reckless plan that wasn’t approved by his female superior. So, Holdo is proven correct. Poe is a cocky little shit who would have screwed it up, and then went and screwed it up anyway. The end.

A scenario that would happen only in the imaginations of feminists.

5. Canto Bight

This is one of the few Last Jedi criticisms that I think is understandable. Look, I love the wacky casino planet that Finn and Rose visit midway through The Last Jedi. It’s funny, well-realized and incredibly Star Wars. If you find the setting off-putting and you just don’t vibe with it, that’s cool. What you can’t do is claim that the scene in question is “pointless” because that just isn’t true. Leia and Han’s sojourn on the Millennium Falcon in Empire doesn’t end up impacting the plot, but it changes the characters for good and Canto Bight is the same. What Finn learns on Canto Bight is to care about something bigger than his friends. He learns about systematic injustice in the galaxy and sees the impact of the Resistance beyond the small group he’s familiar with. It all builds to him abandoning his complacency and embracing his identity as a rebel. That matters to the movie, whether or not you liked how it went down. Also come on, BB-8 shoots coins at a guy!

Of course it’s true that the Canto Bight sequence is pointless.  It serves only to facilitate moronic social justice lecturing that has no value whatsoever.  Comparing it with the Han and Leia sojourn in TESB is ridiculous.  The sequence in TESB certainly impacts the plot because torturing Han is what allowed Darth Vader to send out Force vibes to Luke, who then saw his friends in pain in a vision on Dagobah, and then flew to Cloud City to save them.

6. Rose

I’m not going to claim that everyone who hates Kelly Marie Tran’s delightful character is racist or sexist, although I know for a fact that some of them are. I’m going to go a step further and say that they’re also heartless. Rose is the character who comes the closest to being the soul of The Last Jedi. She’s achingly sincere, a bottomless pit of kindness. People don’t like sincerity in their blockbusters; they want quips and snark and Deadpool. 

How is it exactly that you know for a fact that people who hate the moronic Rose Tico character are racist or sexist?  Are you sure that you don’t just call everything racist and sexist?

When someone like Rose shows up, modern audiences squirm and reject her because a line as corny as “That’s how we’ll win: Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love” just has to be bad, right? Nope. It’s the perfect summation of the film as a whole. 

Well then how come Holdo got to destroy what she hated?

Long live Rose Tico.

Tee hee…

7. Rey

People have been complaining since The Force Awakens that Rey is a “Mary Sue,” which is a subtle code that Internet sexists have for whining about girls taking over the world.

Is it super duper secret code for being sexist?  Or is it that Rey is in fact a Mary Sue? Occam’s Razor my friend.

The accusation here is that Rey is just too perfect and good at everything, which on the surface seems pretty absurd given that she spends the entire runtime of The Force Awakens struggling with her biggest flaw, her desire to avoid her destiny and wait around for her family to come back for her. She overcomes that weakness here, realizing throughout the course of the film that she’s the only one who can discover her place in the galaxy. No one can show it to her.

Didn’t you hear from Daisy Ridley herself?  Not only is Rey not a Mary Sue, but she also has no weaknesses.  Reconcile that one.

That ties in with another complaint about Rey, the fact that no one’s moronic “Who are Rey’s parents?” fan theories came true. Rey was never going to be Obi-Wan Kenobi’s grandniece or whatever, because it’s very obvious that the arc of this Star Wars trilogy is the conflict between Ben Solo, someone who feels entitled to a legacy, and Rey Nobody, someone who has a legacy thrust upon her. Sorry Rey isn’t a clone of Emperor Palpatine. (This is a real thing that real stupid people wanted.)

Ha!  The novelization of The Last Jedi suggests that Rey is Luke’s niece.  What are you going to do when JJ Abrams retcons the “nobody” parentage in Episode IX?

8. Killing Snoke

Okay look, I’m just going to cut to the chase. No one gives a shit about Snoke. Snoke sucks. Snoke is a boring Emperor Palpatine rip-off who looks like a pile of moldy dicks. Anyone who cared about a character named “Snoke” should be ashamed of themselves. He’s boring and stupid, and killing him is one of the best choices The Last Jedi makes. Kylo Ren is infinitely more compelling and will be a far better villain, and no amount of “Snoke=Mace Windu?!?!” YouTube videos will change that fact.

Should people who care about a character named Snoke be more ashamed than someone who knows what a pile of moldy dicks looks like?

9. Luke’s characterization

This is the big one. People are very angry that this movie wasn’t about a perfect Jedi god named Luke Skywalker who gets all of the ladies and kills all the bad guys dead. Luke isn’t perfect here; he’s bitter and sad, and he doesn’t have all the answers. But a still-growing Luke is far more interesting than the charmingly stagnant Han Solo mannequin that appeared in The Force Awakens. Luke changes. He grows. And yes, he dies. That’s upsetting! But it’s okay for a movie to upset you. Sometimes it’s trying to. With some distance, there’s nothing more satisfying than the death Luke gets in The Last Jedi, a death that’s noble and powerful and incredibly cool. Luke couldn’t be the star of these movies. These Star Wars movies are about the next generation inheriting a legacy, not the last generation holding onto it. It’s no wonder middle-aged fanboys are upset. These movies don’t belong to you anymore, guys. 

Absolutely no one said that they are angry that this movie wasn’t about a perfect Jedi god named Luke Skywalker who gets all of the ladies and kills all the bad guys dead.  No one.  So you’re responding to a point that no one made, simply because you think the prose in that sentence sounds clever.  It’s not.

Dying wasn’t the upsetting part.  It was the manner in which he died.  There’s nothing wrong with the idea of Luke Skywalker dying.  It’s the execution of that idea which was a steaming pile of Bantha fodder.  It was all very, very lame indeed.

Time to let go.

The box office and the waning toy and merchandise sales demonstrate that many are letting go.

Luke couldn’t be the star of these movies. These Star Wars movies are about the next generation inheriting a legacy, not the last generation holding onto it.

Well, he could, but few really wanted that.  What some were expecting instead, was for Luke to play the Obi-Wan of this trilogy.  Obi-Wan in the Original Trilogy was a secondary character.  Again, you’re arguing against points that no one is making.

10. Killing Admiral Ackbar

Oh, you guys care about Admiral Ackbar now? What the fuck is wrong with you? He’s just a fish man who said one funny thing once. Why are you angry that he’s dead? You’re lucky they even remembered to put him in these movies. Did you know that in the old dumb Star Wars books Admiral Ackbar just literally dies of old age? Look it up. You should feel lucky your fish man hero died in battle!

Admiral Ackbar led the assault on the Death Star 2.0.  Sure his time was brief.  Nevertheless, he still holds far more emotional gravitas than Holdo ever did, or could.

Also, get a life.

Says the guy who took the time to write this silly article.

Star Peace

I previously discussed the controversy over the removal of the blasters from the International Solo posters.  I also discussed Disney’s purported response to the removal, and how it conflicted with the known political climate in Brazil over the public debate on firearms.  I explained how it didn’t matter if the posters were international, since the political motivation for removing the blasters was the same despite being designed for Brazil.  I then repeated that explanation in response to Star Wars Explained’s inappropriate admonishment of Jeremy at Geeks + Gamers.

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Now Jeremy has discovered the same altered blasterless character images, now being used for American character posters.

If you still doubt that there is a political agenda at work here, read the following sentence from the new Han Solo novel Last Shot, which describes what happened when Han Solo brought a toy blaster home for a young Kylo Ren to play with:

He brought Ben a play blaster from Burundang and he was encouraging his violent side;

Pretty soon, every commanding officer in the Resistance will be some sort of space hippie like Holdo.

UPDATE:

Just a point of clarification here.

Jeremy is not speaking about the British Solo posters, which were released on the Star Wars UK Twitter feed, all of which sport blasters:

 

Rather what Jeremy is referring to instead, are the new blasterless character posters for the United States:

If you’ll recall, Disney purported responded to ScreenRant, specifically stating that, “First of all, the posters arent for the United States. They’re posters for Brazil.”

And yet, here are the very same blasterless images now in the United States poster. Compare and contrast:

Maybe Disney is trolling us.

 

Han Solo Novel Last Shot Unintentionally Retcons The Force Awakens

Among the tales of Han Solo’s baby sitting, and Lando Calrissian’s admiration of his own genitalia, Last Shot readers also get treated to the high adventure of Han Solo’s mid-life crisis.

James Whitbrook of i09 reports:

Daniel José Older’s new Star Wars novel, Last Shot, was bundled up with the recent wave of Solo: A Star Wars Story-themed book announcements. But while there are parts of it that deal with the early lives of Han and Lando, it’s at its best when it’s set decades after the upcoming movie, as the two come to terms with leaving their past—and their youth—behind.

…set approximately two years after Return of the Jedi and the Battle of Jakku, with Han pulled away from his family by Lando into a new adventure tying up the other arcs of the book through its mysterious villain, a sort of Dr. Frankenstein-for-droids figure named Fryzen Gor. That contrast is to starkly remind us of one thing: Han and Lando grew up.

From Han’s point of view in this time period, getting old is a petrifying and new thing to him, as he tries to balance his new homelife looking after a 2-year-old Ben Solo with a wife constantly caught up in the bureaucratic quagmire of establishing the New Republic (a New Republic that frequently wants Han to get caught up in its administration as well, much to his chagrin).

Han’s unease, so potent that it almost feels uncharacteristic for the smuggler-turned-Rebel-hero who helped bring down the Empire. How does a guy who’s spent most of his adult life on the run, solving problems with lies and deals and liberal amounts of blasterfire, know how to be a parent? Can he be the father he never really knew, or the husband he never thought he’d be, to a child and wife who unquestionably, thoroughly love him?

Han finds himself worryingly holo-calling home every time he has a moment to check up on Leia and Ben, and at one point late on in the novel he admits that he has no idea if he’s comfortable being out among the stars as a pilot anymore, doing the things he’s loved his whole life, when he knows should be back home raising Ben—despite the fact he has no idea if anything he’s doing with his son is actually good for the child.

But it’s also important reminder that these characters we’ve known and loved for years—decades, rather, of learning more and more about them over years of books and comics and movies, as we’re about to do so again with Solo next month—are not trapped in amber. They are confronted with maturity and aging and realities of lives outside of spaceship battles and daring rebellions, just as we all eventually become (well, at least without the spaceship battles and daring rebellions bit). And in confronting those very real emotions in Han and Lando, Last Shot becomes far more interesting than you might expect a supposed Solo tie-in novel to really be.

Okay.  So riddle me this: if Han Solo “grew up” 2 years after Return of the Jedi, and becomes a boring suburbanite dad while eschewing a life of adventure, then how come we see him in Episode VII as the same smuggler character we first met in Episode IV before his arc was finished in Episode VI?

Is this the year that Marvel’s superheroes finally topple Star Wars?

That’s the question that Michael Cavna at The Washington Post asks:

IS THIS the year that Marvel finally tops Star Wars?

Judging by early box-office figures and a new Fandango movie poll, this could indeed be the turning point when the Avengers prove more popular than the Rebel Alliance.

Ever since Disney-owned Lucasfilm rebooted the space movie franchise in 2015, the biggest Star Wars film of each year has outdistanced the biggest release from Disney-owned Marvel Studios.

This year, however, Marvel has come loaded for bear.

Hurtling toward summer, “Black Panther” remains the year’s biggest film by a long shot, having grossed $676 million domestically — a high bar to cross for any Star Wars film being released this far along into the franchise.

But the plot twist is, this month’s “Avengers: Infinity War” is tracking even higher than “Black Panther.” The mobile-ticketing platform Fandango announced last week that “Infinity War” was outselling the past seven Marvel Cinematic Universe movies — combined — in presale tickets.

Fandango follows that announcement up this week with news of a seasonal blockbuster survey that polled 4,500 fans. According to the ticketing site, the season’s most anticipated release is “Infinity War” (opening April 27), followed by “Deadpool 2” (May 18), with “Solo: A Star Wars Story” (May 25) sliding into third place ahead of “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” (June 22).

When “Infinity War” opens next week, it will try to top the $248 million opening weekend of “The Force Awakens” (the biggest domestic debut before adjusting for inflation). Star Wars is not going to give up any box-office crowns easily. (Current projections have “Infinity War” opening as high as $235 million.)

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